The Horses Know (The Horses Know Trilogy Book 1) by Lynn Mann

Author:Lynn Mann [Mann, Lynn]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Coxstone Press
Published: 2019-07-24T06:00:00+00:00

Seventeen

Attacked

Autumn passed me by in a blur of swirling leaves, rain and misery; I hated feeling like an outcast among my fellow Horse-Bonded and I was in almost continual pain.

Knowing that the pain was emanating from my heart made it seem more intense somehow. There were times when it seemed to spiral out of control and my breath would become shallow and raspy while I fought down panic. Was this it? I’d ask myself, had I run out of time to clear the issue that was causing it? Was I going to have a heart attack and die? What if I died all by myself at night-time? What if the pain got even worse?

Every time I was on the verge of losing the plot completely, Infinity would draw me to her. Sometimes just being with her was enough to calm me, but usually she would instruct me to get my saddle and bridle and go with her to the riding paddock. As soon as I was on her back, she would take up all of my concentration. No part of my attention could be spared to dwell on my pain and I would notice after a while that my breathing had returned to normal, the pain in my heart had subsided to a more manageable level and another panic had been overcome.

I told Rowena and Justin that I had a problem with my heart and would be dealing with it by myself, and they were both incredulous. Rowena demanded an explanation, which I found myself unable to give; whenever I thought of the cause of my heart problem and the hurdle I would need to overcome in order to clear it, it felt as if a sore spot very deep in my soul were being prodded. It was too personal, too painful for me to talk about and for a while I avoided even thinking about it. I asked my friends if they could understand that as soon as I felt I could say more, I would, and further I asked if they would cover for me if I were ever too ill to do my chores.

Rowena went to Norieva and arranged that her chores would always be alongside mine and more than a few times, she had to make excuses for me and work longer hours as I left what we were doing to hurry off and ride my horse, in order that I could cope with yet another attack of extreme, heart-clenching pain. I know Justin and Shann both helped her when they could and I felt awful at the burden I was being to them all.

It wasn’t long before word got around that I was leaving my chores for others to do whilst I went to ride my horse, and to those who were already feeling cool towards me for my rebellion towards Feryl, I was now a very credible target at whom to direct their hostility. I was either ignored, glared at, or openly berated for my behaviour and not once could I find it within myself to explain my actions.

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